The Mystic Kettle of Nackledirk

Tuesday, 20 July 2004 — 9:33am | Harry Potter, Literature

I’m about a week or two late on reporting this one, but for the Harry Potter conspiracy theorists out there: I was right about Mark Evans, so there. According to J.K. Rowling’s latest FAQ update:

Mark Evans is… nobody. He’s nobody in the sense that Mr. Prentice, Madam Marsh and Gordon-Dudley’s-gang-member are nobodies, just background people who need names, but who have no role other than the walk-on parts assigned to them.

The fact is that once you drew my attention to it, I realised that Mark Evans did indeed look like one of those ‘here he is, just a casual passer-by, nothing to worry about, bet you barely noticed him’ characters who would suddenly become, half way through book seven, ‘Ha ha! Yes, Mark Evans is back, suckers, and he’s the key to everything! He’s the Half Blood Prince, he’s Harry’s Great-Aunt, he’s the Heir of Gryffindor, he lives up the Pillar of Storgé and he owns the Mystic Kettle of Nackledirk!’ (Possible title of book seven there, must make a note of it).

Then why – WHY – (I hear you cry) – did I give him the surname “Evans”? Well, believe me, you can’t regret it more than I do right now. “Evans” is a common name; I didn’t give it much thought; I wasn’t even trying to set up another red herring. I could just as easily have called him ‘Smith’ or ‘Jones’ (or ‘Black’ or ‘Thomas’ or ‘Brown’, all of which would have got me into trouble too).

I don’t know about you, but I would lay down a hundred Galleons for a Harry Potter walk-on part by Smith or Jones.

A refresher on recent happenings: Tales of Symphonia has indeed been released, though it is sold out at every video game retailer in the city. That’s okay, since I am on the verge of finishing another RPG, the delightful Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga. It features the return of the seven Koopa Kids from Super Mario Bros. 3 and Super Mario World, among other appreciated touches that make it feel like the great SNES game that was never made. It does not have quite the depth or length of the classic Squaresoft titles, but is no slouch when it comes to charm.

Someone, somewhere heard me and released De-Lovely in Alberta; it plays at the Sunridge Spectrum in Calgary and North Edmonton in, well, Edmonton, neither of which are in the most convenient locales. I caught I, Robot on Friday and may write about it at some point, though I make no promises; it is proving more difficult to subject to relentless mockery than I had originally expected, because chunks of it are really quite good.

No indication yet as to whether or not I will have broadband on hand in New Orleans, but if I do, Scrabble coverage will follow accordingly, potentially even on a game-by-game basis.

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