Endorse me, my sweet endorsable you

Wednesday, 8 March 2006 — 11:38pm | Studentpolitik

Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine.

Look, if you care, you’ve probably already voted. As such, and given that most of you won’t get around to reading this before the polls close, this isn’t really an endorsitorial. As I was starting to write something along those lines on Monday night just before I got wind of Chelli’s unfortunate disqualification, I came to the realization that this year didn’t offer me a whole lot to endorse. There were several races to the bottom, and at the time I hadn’t quite decided how well None of the Above would fare on my ballot. Besides, I figure that if you’re smart enough to read this blog, you’re smart enough to not vote for Greg German.

So here’s how I ranked the candidates (as far as I can remember), with minimal disclosure of supporting rationale:

President: None of the Above, Samantha Power, Greg German. I would have voted for Michelle Kelly were she still in the race. Though Sam came off as the most knowledgeable, professional and prepared candidate, I have too many fundamental disagreements with her on principle and too little admiration of her accomplishments to date to justify a clear first. In a two-horse race a #1 for NOTA works out to a vote for her anyway, and my rankings are both a protest and a Stop German. Sam would serve as both the better President and the better placeholder.

Also, Stephen Kirkham should have gone ahead with the Bear Scat joke campaign. This year, it was fully winnable. Potential to be the greatest joke candidate since Space Moose? Absolutely. What a shame.

VP Academic: Amanda Henry has earned my rubber stamp.

VP External: None of the Above, Dave Cournoyer, Blythe Morrow, Damini Mohan. It was a race to the bottom. Dave lost me with the fetish for political policies. Blythe lost me with her seething (and moreover, undirected) anger at the Myer forum. Damini lost me twice the moment I saw “ATA” and “CFS” converge on her handbills. Lesson learned: when in doubt, even the Liberal with the crappy blog may end up on top.

VP Operations/Finance: Chris Cunningham, None of the Above, Theresa Chapman, Cameron Lewis. Cunningham doesn’t have a clue about the SU, but the more I heard him exude his businessman’s idealism, the more I liked him. Here’s a man who would invest in zeppelins in the wake of a Hindenburg out of patriotic ambition. He really doesn’t have any idea what he’s in for, but I’m dying to see what he’d manage to do with the position. (However, if he wins, I’ll have to apologize to him personally.)

As for the other two, I don’t for a moment doubt Theresa Chapman’s enthusiasm and commitment, or that she works hard and pays her taxes. I do doubt her understanding of the position, her naïveté about everything, and her ability to write coherently (see the Webboard for details). As for Cam, who somehow ran a fluffed-up paper-credential-driven campaign with less presence than Samuel’s run for BOG…

“I will. Take care of your money. We’re not making this up.”

(Tired? Uninspiring? So was his campaign.)

VP Student Life: Sarah Kalil, Omer Yusuf, None of the Above, Amanda-Leigh Hanson. Figures – the only race of conventional strength, and it has to be the bogus seat on the Executive. Sarah’s the best: she knows the limitations of the SL position, both necessary and crippling, and she also recognizes that students are best served through decentralized programming and Student Groups in particular, which I will say without reservation is the SU service with the most direct and relevant effect on students short of Bear Scat.

Omer would be an acceptable victor, but he doesn’t quite fit the portfolio as a character quite the way Sarah does, and I think he would be more useful elsewhere. Hanson didn’t race to the bottom like some of the candidates in other races, but she struck me as somebody impractical in all the ways that are best holed up in APIRG.

Board of Governors: Of course I approved Chris Samuel. To me, the question isn’t whether or not running a $0 campaign should speak ill of him – it’s about how far up he’ll go. I want to see him break 80% for fun and sport.

Physical Activity Complex: No. This plebiscite asked a stupider question than half of the Jones referenda.

Campus-Wide Tobacco Ban: Yes, and it’s in spite of Shereen Kangarloo’s every effort to lose my vote. Chris Samuel is the first argument for running a zero-dollar campaign. This is the second. We’re talking about a hot-button debate as topical as the prohibition of tobacco, and that’s the best she can do? Her money would have been better spent as a drop in the bucket to fight lung cancer.

As for my vote: I do not make any money from campus tobacco sales. I do not have any intention of making money off campus tobacco sales. I have no interest in there being smoking, or smoke, on campus. I do have an interest in cutting through shortest paths in the Main Quad without having to trace a curveball trajectory around a cloud of stink. The personal benefits outweigh the costs.

And there goes ten or twenty minutes I’d rather have spent writing about Crash.

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